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Kayla

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New Blog [Mar. 20th, 2007|03:59 pm]
Kayla
http://www.umbrellaparadox.blogspot.com

You'll have to go there now to read all the witty things I write.
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Classes and Liquids [Dec. 14th, 2006|02:57 pm]
Kayla
[Tags|, , , , , ]
[Current Location |Home]
[mood |boredbored]

Um, does the new journal update layout freak anyone else out? It is nice, I suppose....

I'm bored, so here's a tentative schedule for the rest of my time at Eastern.

 

2006

2007

Fall

Winter

Spring

Summer

Chem 161

Chem 162

Chem 163

French 101/102

Music 212

English 101

English 201

 

Math 115

Spanish 102

Spanish 103

 

 

2007

2008

Fall

Winter

Spring

Summer

Bio 232

Bio 233

Bio 234

Study abroad?

Psychology 100

Sociology 101

Humanities 215

 

Spanish 201

Spanish 202

Spanish 203

 

 

2008

2009

Fall

Winter

Spring

Summer

Math 320

Nutrition 356

Microbio 335

Study abroad?

History 105/106

Philosophy 211

Culture/Gender Diversity

 

Language

Language

Language

 



In other news, Eloisa and I have a great, hyopthetical trip planned to Japan this summer. A little spendy, but it'll be great. And maybe we'll see some of these! I wish we had cool manholes like that in America. In Cheney we have some that say "Cheney" but that's not nearly as cool. And they even have rectangular ones too.

Hey, how do you keep a baby from falling down a manhole?

I'm trying to be a healthy person, and aparently as a part of that, you need water. So I'm trying to drink 64 ounces a day. It seems like so much, but I've already downed half of that and I've only been up three hours. But it seems like the more I drink, the thirstier I am. It's a sick trick of the medical field with their allies in the water purifier careers to get us to buy more filters.

Anyway. I'm off to run or something. Maybe.
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Thing of Going Too [Dec. 13th, 2006|07:38 am]
Kayla
[Tags|, , , , , , , , ]
[Current Location |Home]
[mood |depresseddepressed]
[music |Bright Eyes]

I've made meals for my family three times in the last five days, and baked cookies twice. Given, they were completely screwed up the first time, but hey, this time they're not so bad. In fact, I think they're good. Not as good as my cousin's, but she's some kind of Kitchen Goddess. It's one of those genes they can't prove exists, but it's really there. I would post a picture to show just how adorable the cookies are, but again, no USB.

I'm bored out of my mind. I know that sounds like an exaggeration, but it's really not. I miss being at school. I would go back and endure the test-taking-stress just so I could hang out with my friends again. It wouldn't be so bad if everyone else wasn't in school right now, but Eastern got off a week before most colleges and a week and a half before the high school, so I'm stuck at home all day with nothing, not even a car. Not that I have anywhere to go, but whatever.

I've been thinking about college in the future a lot, too and this morning I took two hours to figure out what I'll be taking for the next three years. I have my schedule pretty much figured out. I think I'm going to go to Nice, France, this summer on a study abroad thing with the school. It's pretty cheap, $5,000 in all, and that's including tuition, airfare, and spending money, etc. I guess it works out to be about the same as a month at school, but most programs cost the same as a quarter at school, even though they only last a month to six weeks. And who wouldn't want to spend a month of his or her summer in France? Okay, some, yes, but I want to and I think I will. My dad thinks it's a good idea as well, so I'm pretty sure I can talk my mom into it, even though she's concerned about the money. But I'm paying for it, so I don't see her problem. Okay, I do, but I want to go and it's a good thing. You always hear about what an enriching and benefical thing it is to get different perspectives and other cheezy things that are, when it comes down to it, true. And I would get to spend a week in Paris, which isn't really the main draw for me, because I'd rather see the small cities and get a feel for what it's really like to live there. And Nice looks more like Italy to me. Then again, it is really close to Italy. I could walk to Italy from there, man! (Not really....I mean, I could try....) And Janae is thinking of going too and she knows a couple in London who we could possibly stay with for a week or something, and how awesome would that be? I would like that so much.

So I basically just have to figure out the money. If I worked, I could take care of half of it. But that's hypothetically, and if I didn't spend any of my income. I also have some leftover from my loans for this school year (bad calculations on my part for what I needed) and I can take out another loan for the rest of it. The only problem is I need someone to co-sign it with me, and I could ask my grandpa but my mom was complaining about how I shouldn't and such. I just don't know. I need to work it out.

I think, though, that I'll  have room for Japanese in my schedule. Or more Spanish. I don't know which I'll take yet, but I'm excited.
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Home Again, Home Again, Jiggidy-Jig. [Nov. 13th, 2006|09:02 am]
Kayla
[Tags|, , , , , , , , ]

I don't want to go back to school. I really and honestly don't. Not that I don't love it there, I just need a break. A big, long, break. Two nights isn't good enough at home. I didn't get to see everyone I would have liked to and I didn't see anyone for long enough.

I'm so tired. I can see it in my face. Underneath my eyes. My skin. My posture. No one else notices, probably, but I can see it so clearly. I feel like I could sleep for days on end. I can't wait for winter break when it's a possibility. As happy and excited as I am that Naruho and her friend are coming for Thanksgiving, it might add more stress. Coming home is stress because I worry about everything and everyone and don't want to leave.

I finished my take-home test, but I still have a report on Bruckner to do. I'm so sick of school work. I mean, I love music. I really really love it, but here I am hating the work. I just need a break. My mom said today that I've always got this way during this time of the year, and thinking back, she's right. I always get kind of depressed, so it makes sense that I'm having a hard time at school, especially being away from my normal comfort factors.

I feel like crying a lot of the time and don't really have anyone to talk to about it. I wish I was a stronger person, I really do. I wish I could withstand this sort of crap, but I can't as well as I'd like to. It's all in time, but I don't want to wait.

I can usually gague my mood when I leave music class and walk by the elementary school where recess is going on. If I see the kids and smile or think of how cute they are, playing their games, things are going well. Right now if I saw them, I'd be sad, though. I'd think about how they're all going to grow up and feel hurt and pain. How they're just living in the present and that's good, but they'll learn to worry. They'll fall in love. They'll have their hearts broken. They'll be embarrassed someday and cry over stupid things. Have regrets, lose important things, go through puberty, get sick, lose a parent. It's not fair. It's like that Perks of Being a Wallflower quote about how when you're little, sledding is enough, but it won't always be.

I don't know why I'm blathering on about kids. I just miss my mom and my sister and my best friends, even though they're so close right now. And they'll just be further tomorrow, and I'm not sure I can handle that. I'm not sure I can be away for another week and a half while I wait and just 'stick it out' until I can come home again, just to do it all over. I miss them and I miss life at home, even though I never enjoyed life here that much. But I did enjoy the people and I miss them so bad it hurts sometimes and all I want to do is crawl into bed and not leave it.

Sometimes I look at life and think I'll never be really happy. There will be times when I am, but over all, there is no happily ever after. There's only life. I guess I always assumed when you grew up, things got better. You stopped worrying. The little things become just that, and there are no big things. But that's not true at all. Adults have problems. I'll get married someday and my husband won't be able to fix all my problems. I'll get mad at him. I'll have kids I can only try to raise right, but I'll get frustrated at that too. I'll be unhappy at my job and I'll get bored with my hobbies. That's life, and it's supposed to be okay because that's how it is for everyone. I just want the perfect ending.

What if no man ever loves me? What if I spend my life alone? It feels like a huge possibility right now. Never been kissed, no one's ever been attracted to me. I'm not saying I think I'm hideous. I don't even think I'm ugly. It's so stupid to base one's self worth on others' opinions, but I'm hardly the only one who does that. I'm just being honest about it, I guess. I don't even know, I'm just complaining at this point and maybe I have been from the start.

Ten days. I hate to live my life on a countdown, but there it is. Ten days.
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Friends Only [Aug. 19th, 2006|02:00 am]
Kayla

Friends only.
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I promise, it's an easy process.



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